Okay, I realize my first blog was about "just doing it". But now I just don't want to do it. Is that ok? Yeah, well it better be. Because I'm not doing it. I'm not. I won't. No way.
I haven't become lazy, promise. But seriously sometimes saying "no" is the best feeling on the planet. A weight lifted, burden unloaded, whatever you want to call it. With a month left in Los Angeles before I take off for a 6-month jaunt to Buenos Aires (jealous, much?) I am left with decisions to make about what I'm going to do with these next few weeks.
Having your own acting business (AKA, just being an actor) is ex-haus-ting. It's a pretty amazing job as well...you can make leaps and bounds literally all on your own doing. I hate to believe it's all "luck" and "who you meet". No, truth is, the more you persist, the more you unveil. If you know how to market yourself and work your talent and, might I add, have fun getting rejected, then you're golden. Ok, I digress, I'm trying to talk about not...doing...anything.
I've been in this running struggle with running. I have run lots of miles in my 23 years, and it's a habit so ingrained that I'm fearful to let it go. I actually never thought I would need to, or even, god forbid, want to. However, discovering the strength (literally muscle) and stamina (literally lower blood pressure and heart rate) that yoga brings, I'm thinking...maybe I don't need to run as much as I thought. Or, dare I say it...at all. In addition, chronic injury only comes back when I hit the trails, so why bring on the pain when I can bring on the downward facing dog?
And in class this morning, I had a thought. That maybe yoga was enough. For now, at least. And this was not my lazy brain talking; I was sweating, shaking, burning up on my mat and knew deep down my body was reaping the benefits. And the thing about yoga is that it never feels bad in itself. I can have a good run, a bad run, or an okay run. But what I bring to my asana's every class has the potential to be pretty amazing, with no regards to mileage or a stopwatch.
Well, point is, I came across the realization today that I don't have to run myself into the ground (pun intended). I don't have to push my profile so hard on Actor's Access, I can let my manager find auditions for the time being, can focus on my yoga practice and not run if my foot is injured, and can cease writing endless to-do lists that only frustrate the hell out of me when they remain unchecked. All of the sudden, I felt so free. Literally became detached from all worry as I drove down 3rd street.
So, there really is something in saying no. Because if you say no, you might be saying yes to something else. To that that something else, if it's an inner truth, I can guarantee you will say, "Thank You".
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