Clear the Track and Get Moving!

...yes, I am talking about my intestinal system. Gross, right? Well, think what you will. I am telling you, hitting this Ayurvedic "4-Day Home Cleanse" is already one of the best things I've done in a while. Okay, so the basics are simple. For four days I am consuming only Indian Dal (Yellow Mung Beans, basmati rice, spices, and ginger) herbal tea, and a couple teaspoons of flaxseed oil. Yum!

...and no I am not hungry all the time.

...nor am I running to the bathroom every five seconds. :)

I'll back up a bit. For the past two weeks I've been getting relatively obsessed with Ayurveda, yoga's "sister science", which is based on the notion that each person falls into one of three categories: Vatta, Pitta, or Kapha. Each "energy", so to speak, is a combination of a person's physical build, stress-builders, relationships, dietary tendencies, digestion, methods of relaxation, seasonal likes and dislikes, and much more. Basically, the way one lives his or her life will draw towards one of the three Doshas. Of course, everyone is a little of all three, but will fall more heavily into one category or another.

Want to know which you are, don't you? Go here and find out:
http://www.lifespa.com/body_type_quiz.aspx

Once you've done that, you can start to know yourself better, and therefore all the remedies that will help balance out your imbalances. Myself, I'm a Pitta through and through, and have started making my own seasonal lists of what fruits and veggies and beans and grains not only fit into my diet seasonally, but also energetically.

There's much to say in favor of Ayurveda. I have struggled for a long time about body image, dieting, working out, getting thin, stressing about weight....well, stressing about everything. But I've come to know (through reading Dr. Dillard's book, The Three Season Diet) that this exact stress is what was inhibiting me from a) getting fit and loosing weight and b) relaxing and finding some joy and ease in my life. Seriously, people, that's all I want. For me and for everyone. World=better place.

A few examples include the way we eat and diet in America. Okay, everyone knows that there's a million diets out there, that most of them are bogus, but we try them anyway. I know I've counted calories, eaten six meals a day, cut out carbs, cut out meat, ate more protein, ate less protein, held back the oil, raided the aisles of Whole Foods for the exact same products week after week. Yet I come out of it not feeling the way I want, feeling either depleted, or disappointed, or worried I'm too thin, too bulky, or not healthy enough. And most of all, just tired of being stressed about it all. Well, not only has Ayurveda trumped many of my former notions, it has allowed me to just be easier on myself about what I put in my body. I'm vegan and already eat pretty well, sure, but there's always room for improvement. Instead of what I eat or don't eat, my focus has become how and when I am sitting down to a meal.

I was pretty much sold on the 6 meals per day, 350 cals-each-meal-thing...and it worked, for a while. But after about a month I realized all I was thinking about was food, how many calories I needed to consume every 3 hours is an exhausting feat. Literally, no time for anything else (like a nice set of Primary Foods...read my former blog about this). Also, physically, I've learned that the body really does need some time to fast, digest, and slowly burn fat. With the 6 meals a day, the body's constantly burning carbs and sugar, constantly getting re-fed, and never gets the space to burn off fat, which just takes longer (Damn that slow-burning-fat, right?!).

Well, with three meals a day, lunch being the biggest, warmest and most relaxed, while breakfast and dinner are much smaller, the body has space to burn fuel and keep a person going with out going over the edge. A small breakfast of fruit/grain/ricemilk/soymilk/toast is perfectly fine, and is actually "breaking-fast" from a night of good digestion. This leads to the idea that dinner should be a soup or salad type meal, and early-ish in the evening, around 6PM. This way, the body can wind down for the night without all this junk in the way.

Now, everyone's different, sure, and I get hungry like a crazy woman, so I was worried I'd need a midnight snack way too often. However, because I've changed the way I eat as well, I am finding myself to be perfectly content in the stomach-region. For example, I've stopped watching TV, browsing Facebook, or even reading while I'm eating. Living alone surely makes this harder, but try it. I can enjoy my food, take some deep breaths, and allow my mind to wander a bit. My to-do list will be there when I get back, but meals are becoming a time for a bit of solitude. Much needed!

Finally, physical exercise is crucial, obviously, and there's no diet that says working out won't do the body good. But there are times for everything, and during a normal day there are peak hours for getting the blood pumping (like the AM, before breakfast), and the later PM (6-10, assuming you eat dinner before). These are the times when the body is most awake and ready to move. After lunch, or even DURING lunch, is the worst time to work out, because either the body is craving a nice mid-day meal, or is working on digesting such a meal and not wanting to go for that run, walk, or swim. The time after lunch is better for a "brain-workout". Focus on a more intellectual task, like reading, writing, computer work, or a task that requires artistic focus. Your brain will be bright and eager while your tummy gets going on that food.

So, back to my cleanse. I am doing it now in April as the seasons change, as my life changes, and as I get ready for the next step. But it's also giving my body a chance to let me know what it needs, not what my stressed out mind wants. It's a huge difference. I'm thrilled to begin this journey; I think it's going to be sustainable, more than any other diet fad I have tried!

Will keep you posted!

Getting "ANS"-y

Ever have the feeling that you're trapped; like there's a jittery feeling within that won't go away; literally...ants in your pants. Call it anxiety, stress, boredom, whatever...I literally loathe this feeling. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I've been caught in the middle of it more often than not in the past six months. What is a type-A girl to do? When there's a lack of structure to feed on, a seemingly minimal source of creativity, and a routine that appears to be going nowhere, its easy to get utterly depressed. And for me, it's depressing to be depressed. And not worth it. And easy to want to escape.

The real problem is that I am a sucker for the computer, music, chewing gum, wine, and catching up on TV shows. So when I want to escape, I resort to these places; not a horrible way to go, but trust me, FaceBook Chat has little to give back in terms of feeling any better. I forced myself to start reading, and have been absorbed in Yoga and the Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main for the past week or so. Literally have not been able to put it down. That good. There's usually something in every chapter that makes me think and want to write about, but a few paragraphs today really rang true.

He explains about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system (both together defined as the autonomic nervous system, or ANS), and how the two work together when we're calm, yet work against one another when we're off kilter. The first (sympathetic) has to do with ultimate survival mode, or "fight or flight", while the parasympathetic is on an easy-going road, otherwise known as "rest and digest". Most of the time, we're in fight or flight, which is not really natural, or healthy. I have been fighting and flighting for four years straight, pretty much, and to be in a place now where I'm at a standstill is nothing short of freaky. Interestingly enough, my fight or flight instinct still kick in, because here I am anxious about my not-doing-anything-mode. Is this the time to "rest and digest"?; how do you live in one mode without inhibiting the other? Seems impossible.

However, Main makes the point that we've an incredibly powerful tool at hand: The breath. Ugh. Always seems to be the answer to anything, at least it was in theatre school. But it actually makes so much sense; when we breathe, we let oxygen into our blood, brain, organs, entire system. It slows things down, puts the mind at rest. And, according to Main, the mind at rest means the body can digest. I mean, hell, the mind can even digest here. What a blessing.

And I don't mean breathing like sip sip sip take some air in and call it a day. I mean conscious, full bellied, stretch-your-lungs-and-intercostal-muscles type breathing. This takes a moment to exhale, and then fully inhale. Try closing the eyes. It will give you space away from the world, which more often than not takes us by storm and leaves us ravaged at sea.

This is one of the most challenging times I've had thus far in my short life. I feel inactive, and impatient, and unworthy. Yet I have this faith (or feeling, if you would rather I not get too pious), that the Pranayama Breath, or life-force behind each intake and release of oxygen, will somehow get me through. I don't go around breathing consciously all day, but my breath-to-movement yoga practice seems to save me for those couple hours every morning. A simple breathing meditation in my car keeps me from flipping off the SUV's that tower above me. And reading this book calmly directs my focus inward instead of all over cyberspace.

Sometimes I wish I could be back in school, learning, running around from class to class, constantly practicing new movement and voice technique, giving everything I had creatively. I miss that time. However, in missing this part of me so much, I am in a place of looking to get it back. And surely I can, one breath at a time.